


Dear ED (Ana/Mia)

by JeS3004



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anorexia, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-25 01:54:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22248067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JeS3004/pseuds/JeS3004
Summary: Got a letter and had to vent





	Dear ED (Ana/Mia)

**Author's Note:**

> Got a letter and had to vent

Dear ED (Ana/Mia), 

Why now, after three years of refusing to talk to me, do you choose to reenter my life? More importantly, why are you so resistant to Help (Help/treatment/ recovery/ weight gain/failing). If you   
::Fail/eat/gain/smile/compile::  
“Try” then they (your parents/your therapist/the doctors) will let you out; they will let you come back to me. Without you I am lost and alone in this journey towards death perfection, and because I am alone, I am failing.   
::stupid/fat/worthless/useless/lost/baby/loser::  
Now you may be wondering “what do you mean failing?”  
::fat/ugly/fat/stupid/fat/lost/fat/loser::  
I mean that after you left I got   
::weak/sloppy/lazy::  
Unable to remove my emotions from a situation. The techniques for fighting hunger (chew on 1 piece of sugar free gum (4) or eat a safe food(<100)or draw) no longer worked. I lost control of my power. I no longer talked to my friends and as a result, I lost a lost a lot of my support system. By people I barely knew I was called crazy, and by the friends I had lost, I was deemed the poisoned one. After weeks of constant torment   
::fat/ugly/slut/bitch/loser::  
And my inability to hold on to what you had taught me to do when I wanted to binge.   
::“do it you can always purge after”::  
As a last resort to not binge I picked up a razor and drew three straight thin lines and let the evil drain out. After I first cut I told myself that I wouldn’t do it again, that I would not be like the statistics and get addicted.  
::stupid/worthless/stupid::  
But I was wrong. After that first time I did it almost everyday. Soon enough people found out. From then on they changed how they tormented me.  
::you should try doing it vertically/ kill yourself/ it would be a gift to humanity::  
Through all of this torment, no teacher or adult said anything and as a result, I thought that no one even cared about me. After a few more weeks of unending torment my mind got the better of me and I started believing that they were right and that I should kill myself. If it weren’t for a small group of my friends who didn’t leave me I probably would not have survived seventh grade.  
After the worst summer ever spent in a hospital I started eighth grade at a new school, YellowWood academy. This last school is the reason that I rethought our plan and decided that I would not kill myself, at least not before high school.  
So now you are up to date on what has happened while you have been gone. I am sorry but I don’t think that you are healthy for me so we can’t be friends anymore at least not until you are better, or at least willing to try treatment.   
I hope to see a healthy you soon.  
From your old mate,  
Anonymous


End file.
